


Chemistry of Organic Compounds

by musegaarid



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Cecil Is Not Described, Cecil is Human, Infidelity (but not really), M/M, Magical Healing Cock, Mind Control, Porn With Plot, Strexcorp is Evil, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1461904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musegaarid/pseuds/musegaarid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not Cecil's favorite coffee shop because of the coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chemistry of Organic Compounds

_Listeners, it can sometimes be a bit of a challenge when you are married to your direct supervisor. For instance, my dear Lauren has recently forbidden me from answering the telephone at the station. Or at home. Or my cell phone. Or any phone at all, really._

_In addition, she insists that I not go anywhere other than the radio station or home, nor can I speak to anyone in public for fear of communicable razor worms. Apparently._

_I, for one, certainly understand that the world is a dangerous place full of terrible nightmares and worse realities, and I recognize that it is generous of my thoughtful wife to want to protect me from the glistening, rainbow-hued menaces lurking at the very edges of our vision like an iridescent oil slick viscously lying in wait for unsuspecting travelers, but being unable to communicate with any of my informants does put something of a damper on my ability to be an effective community radio journalist._

_Still, a good marriage is about compromise, so I negotiated for the opportunity to visit my favorite coffee shop once per day because I am a very grumpy radio show host without my coffee and the City Council's recent ban on coffee makers, French presses, and other personal brewing devices did, for a brief time, lead us down a somewhat murky road at home. Anyway, in return for the ability to visit my favorite coffee shop once per day, Lauren has thoroughly investigated the shop and… requested that I refrain from mentioning its name on the air or the time of day when I am likely to visit because… razor worms._

_Yes. Communication and compromise. Isn't marriage a wonderful thing?_

_Now, let's go to the weather…_

Carlos grit his teeth and switched the radio off.

\---

It was a warm morning. Of course it was. In the desert, all mornings are warm. Even the occasional morning when the sun fails to rise in the morning sky. But it had risen on this particular morning and the subsequent warmth did not stop Cecil from sighing with relief when the sign for Jayna's Java Jive came into view.

The bell made its tinkling little bleat as Cecil stepped through the door, his hand already raised to greet Jayna. But it was not Jayna at the register. It was a man: if such a simple term could be used to describe perfection. The man had dark eyes, a strong jaw, and the most wonderful hair that Cecil had ever seen in his life. He stared, not realizing that his hand was still held awkwardly in the air. In fact, Cecil had stopped moving entirely, halfway into the room. Had stopped breathing, even.

"Welcome to Jayna's Java Jive," said the man pleasantly and Cecil's ears bathed in the oaky tones. "How can I help you today?"

He smiled, and Cecil sucked in a breath so quickly that he was suddenly lightheaded. There must have been a word for his shivery, unsettled feeling – for feeling faint in the contemplation of sublime beauty – something, anything that might explain his racing heart… Yet as he finally began to lower his hand, Cecil's eye caught the glint of light reflecting off his shiny new wedding ring. Oh. Right. Cecil pulled himself together, took a breath, and stepped forward.

"Hi. Yes, um, coffee?" he stammered.

The man's eyes crinkled up in amusement. "What size?"

"Oh… a large. Please. To go."

The barista grabbed a large cup and moved toward the industrial coffee pot to pour. "You must have a busy day planned."

Cecil was desperately trying to keep his eyes from roaming the man's figure while his back was turned, so his grasp on the conversation was limited. "What?"

The man gestured with the cup. "Large coffee. Lots of xanthine alkaloid stimulant. I just figured that meant you were expecting to have a busy day."

"Xanthine…?"

"Caffeine, I meant," said the man hurriedly. "Lots of caffeine. Should I leave room?"

"Yes," replied Cecil, feeling a bit lost. "For milk, yes."

"Cow, goat, soy, almond, wolf, or spider today?" 

"Just cow, I think."

He tipped the milk into the cup, added a lid and paper sleeve, and handed the drink over the counter. Cecil was not at all sure if he wanted their fingers to brush or not. They didn't. He tried to tell himself that he wasn't disappointed.

"So," said the man, tapping at the register, "that'll be $3.43."

Cecil slid a five dollar bill across the counter. "Keep the change," he murmured, and hastily headed for the door. Once outside, he leaned against the warmed stucco of the exterior wall out of view of the door and tried to breathe in the bright sunlight.

\---

_New people often enter our lives. Sometimes your decision to take the bus rather than drive to work means that you will make a new friend. At other times it means that you will be physically turned inside-out when that bus attempts to go through the dimensional portal at the corner of King and Mission on a yellow light. We never know who the new people in our lives will turn out to be. We never know how long their time and space will intersect with ours. We never know anything at all. Which is why we shop at Target. Target: Expect More, Pay Less._

\---

The next day, Cecil was slightly more prepared to meet the utterly perfect man who now worked at Jayna's. He walked in with his most confident swagger. Unfortunately, the effect of said swagger was lost as the shop was quite small and somewhat crowded that day, so it afforded little actual room for swaggering. He stood in line instead. The man was there again, working the register as Jayna moved quickly, filling orders. It might have been Cecil's imagination, but the man's smile seemed brighter when he finally reached the counter.

"Large coffee to go, please," said Cecil.

"With room for cow's milk," the man replied. "I remember." He grinned. "What's your name?"

Cecil had thought he was prepared for this encounter. Apparently not. "I, uh…"

"For your cup," explained the barista.

"Oh. It's… I'm Cecil."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Cecil," said the man with a wink. He then looked down to incise Cecil's name into the paper cup with a toothpick, which was fortunate, because Cecil was not entirely certain what his face was doing at that moment.

"And yours?" he managed. "It's only fair, you know."

The man set Cecil's cup down next to the other orders and quickly wiped his hand off on his apron. "Luis," he said, extending it for a shake. With a sense of unreality so strong Cecil briefly wondered if the cafeteria at Night Vale General Hospital was trying to serve tuna noodle casserole again, he reached over the counter to shake hands with Luis. The man's hand was smooth and dry; his grip was firm but gentle and their grasp was held for just the right amount of time. In short, it was perfect. Cecil drew back and reached for his wallet to cover his confusion.

"Five dollars, was it?"

"$3.43, to be precise," Luis amended.

Cecil handed over a five anyway and waved away the change. 

"If you keep tipping me like this, you're going to quickly become my favorite customer."

An annoyed 'tch!' coming from behind him prevented Cecil from answering. "If you're done flirting, can we move this along?" asked a frazzled looking businesswoman. Luis shot Cecil an apologetic look as he turned to the woman to take her order; Cecil moved down the counter to wait for his drink. When it was ready, he exchanged a short greeting with the harried Jayna but had to leave without speaking to Luis again.

Glancing at his coffee, Cecil noticed that Luis had drawn a little smiley face next to his name.

\---

_Names are markers of identity. But is there a limit to those identities? Does my me stop at your you? Or can our ours overlap? Is a name a boundary or an invitation? 'The world' includes all of us, dear Listeners, but 'the earth' does not. It is a separate entity, kept apart from us by mere words, which are really only names for things when you get right down to it. Your name for you is perfect, though. Everything is perfect, when it is yours…_

_This has been traffic._

\---

On the third day, Cecil decided to go in a little later and hopefully avoid the morning rush. When he stepped into the shop, only two tables were occupied by young people with laptops and Luis was alone behind the counter once more.

"Hi, Cecil," called Luis. 

"You remembered my name."

Luis gave a flirty smile. "I remember the names of all the attractive men who leave me forty-six percent tips."

Cecil looked down at the display of snack foods in front of the register, hating himself. "I'm, well, I'm flattered that you say so, but I feel I should tell you that I'm married."

"I know."

Looking up again abruptly, Cecil said, "You know?"

Luis shrugged. "Sure. I figured out that you're the guy on the radio and you talk about your wife a lot. I can't really tell if you like her or not, to be honest, but whatever. The experience of existence is still awesome either way. And being married doesn't make you any less cute and hopefully won't stop us from being friends, so… yeah. Large coffee, then?"

Feeling a bit like he'd been hit by a truck… again… Cecil nodded. Of course he liked his wife. Didn't he? "Are… are you new to Night Vale?"

"Nah," said Luis, etching something onto a coffee cup. It seemed strange that he would need to write Cecil's name, as he was the only customer at the moment, but Cecil wasn't about to stop him. "I lived here for a bit as a kid. Always thought I'd like to come back someday." He put Cecil's drink on the counter. "You know, one of these days, you should order something a little more exciting."

"I'll think about it," Cecil murmured, pulling out his wallet. "Do you have change for a twenty?"

Luis shook his head. "We've only got Congolese Francs for some reason today and I'm not sure what the exchange rate is. But I could give you…" He suddenly got a faraway look, but snapped back a second later. "5.83 free large coffees in the future, if you don't mind leaving the twenty today."

Passing over the note, Cecil corrected him. "Three coffees. Did you do that math in your head? That's impressive."

"It's helpful in my line of work."

"I imagine it must be when you work a register."

Luis' expression fell. "Right. At the register."

Cecil wasn't sure what he'd said wrong, but their moment of connection was clearly over. Uncertain of what else to do, he thanked Luis for the coffee and left. Later, when he was about to throw his empty cup in the garbage, he noticed the picture of a smiling stegosaurus in a party hat that Luis had inscribed on one side.

\---

 _In other news, this month's PTA meeting reportedly became quite animated after representatives from StrexCorp announced that the company had purchased Desert Moon Junior High School from the Night Vale School District. Effective immediately, middle school students will no longer be allowed to carry weapons at the school or anywhere else, and the Archery, Track and Field, Survival Training, and Drama clubs have been disbanded prior to next week's premiere of Thornton Wilder's_ Our Town. _According to my only available source, Lauren, community members were… excited to see that StrexCorp was so invested in the safety and education of our children. There is as yet no word on the quantity of dead animals expelled from School Board Superintendent, the Glow Cloud, during the meeting._

\---

No one was at the counter the next morning, so Cecil called out, "Hello?"

"Hey, Cecil!" came the reply through the staff door. "Be out in a sec."

Cecil waited a moment, reflecting on the sound of his name as shaped by Luis' tongue, lips, and teeth as opposed to Lauren's. His patience was rewarded when Luis stepped out of the back room, a smear of flour on one cheek and hair disheveled. He was beautiful in the morning light.

"Can I give you something large today?" he joked.

Cecil flushed. "No, I… I think I should cut back a little. Medium?"

"Sure thing," replied Luis, "but it does give me a smaller canvas for my creativity."

"Oh. I liked your dinosaur," Cecil said, sad to miss the opportunity for another doodle. "Maybe I should get the large."

Luis shook his head. "I don't want you to be over-stimulated. Yet." He laughed. "Tell you what, why don't I just put twelve ounces of coffee in a sixteen ounce cup?"

"That's very clever."

"Well, that's the second thing a... barista is."

Cecil got the impression that that's not what Luis had intended to say. "What's the first thing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Luis had his toothpick out again and was scratching away at the cup. From the side, it looked like a T-Rex in a leather jacket, smoking a cigarette.

"Indeed I would," Cecil intoned.

Luis finished preparing Cecil's drink and pushed it across the counter with a cheeky look. "Then maybe one day I'll tell you." He indicated one of the empty tables. "Can you stay and chat for a bit? I'm due a ten minute break."

Cecil glanced at his watch. He didn't understand why the time it kept was different from every other clock in Night Vale, but he still managed to get where he needed to go on time. "No, I need to be at the station," he said, regretfully. "Tomorrow?"

"It's a date," grinned Luis. Cecil opened his mouth to object, but Luis held up his hands in surrender first. "Fine. A friend date."

\---

_"Cecil? It's me, Dana."_

_"Dana! It's so good to see you. Or see through you. Or be able to speak with you, anyway. Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine, Cecil. I tried to text you, but I couldn't seem to get through, so I'm trying astral projection again. It's getting easier each time. So much easier…"_

_"I'm not allowed to use the phone anymore. But what did you want to tell me, Dana? Have you found a way out?"_

_"No, not yet. The lighthouse on the top of the mountain is calling to me, Cecil, but I'm not ready to go there yet. No, I wanted to tell you that you're in danger. I… I don't know what it is, but something is very, very wrong. You need to be careful."_

_"Tuesday is National Reading Day… Is that what you're sensing?"_

_"I… no… I don't know. Be careful, Cecil. It's not right. It's… it's so very wrong. Darkness. Pain. Be careful…"_

_"I will, Dana. I… Dana? Are you there? Dana?"_

\---

Some time before, if time were a thing, Lauren had thrown away Cecil's furry pants, claiming that they were not professional enough for a community radio show host to wear in public. He had managed to rescue his best tunic, however, and it gave him a modicum of comfort as he sat at the small café table with Luis in the otherwise empty shop.

"If you don't mind my saying so, Cecil, you seem a little down today. Something wrong?"

Cecil stared at his coffee. "Have you ever lived with a woman?"

Luis snorted. "I can honestly say I never have, no. But I do have two sisters, so maybe that counts. Problem at home?"

The barista's expression was so sincerely kind and Cecil had had so few opportunities to speak freely to anyone over the last several weeks that he caved immediately. "Lauren's been pressuring me for sex lately," he sighed. "Like, a lot. But I just haven't felt like it." Cecil had expected Luis to respond with a flirtatious joke, but his reply was startlingly serious.

"Have you ever had sex with Lauren?"

"We're married! Of course we… must have. At some point. I think."

Luis gazed into his eyes. "Cecil, this is very important. Have you had sex with Lauren in the last month?"

Confused, Cecil said, "No. It's just… I don't… I think maybe I'm asexual."

Luis' eyebrows shot up. "While it's true that an estimated one percent of the population is fully asexual, I get the feeling that you're not included in that statistic. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that you're intensely passionate with the right partner."

Cecil looked skeptical.

"Would you be willing to try an experiment to find out?" Luis insisted.

"An experiment?"

"Mhm. An orderly procedure carried out with the goal of testing the validity of a hypothesis. My hypothesis being that you are not asexual."

Tugging nervously at the hem of his tunic, Cecil asked, "What would I have to do?"

"Just sit there," explained Luis, "and listen to me. Because ever since you walked through that door five days ago, Cecil Palmer, I have been dreaming about sucking your cock."

Cecil's mouth fell open, slack, in shock. Then he closed it again and swallowed, hard. 

Luis continued. "You have no idea how elaborate these fantasies have been. In one, I sneak into the radio station while your show is on, crawl into the booth, and take you into my mouth from beneath your desk. No one can see, but everyone in town can hear you moan while I lick up and down your shaft with just the tip of my tongue. Before you manage to switch to the weather, I swallow you down completely. You know that everyone is listening to the wet noises my lips are making around the head of your dick. Everyone can hear your desperate need and there's nothing you can do about it except to run your fingers through my hair, tugging, guiding me to the places that give you the most pleasure. Everyone in Night Vale knows when you finally come down my throat and I swallow every last drop, gently licking you clean through the aftershocks of your very. public. orgasm." Luis' voice had dropped steadily through this recitation, becoming softer and more seductive as he continued, and ending in a near whisper, his mouth very near Cecil's ear.

Wild-eyed, Cecil stood, then promptly sat back down again to hide his shame. Luis sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"The evidence suggests that you are not asexual."

Cecil fled.

\---

_Listeners, have you ever…? What I want to say, Listeners, is what would…? Right? If there was… Do you know what I mean?_

_…_

_Ugh. Let's take a look at the Community Calendar._

\---

It was late afternoon by the time Cecil could bring himself to stop by the coffee shop again. A few patrons were sitting around at the tables while Jayna wiped down the counters.

"Oh, hey, Cecil," she greeted him cheerfully.

"Hi, Jayna. How are you doing?"

"Can't complain really." 

"Not since the City Council put that moratorium on vocal complaints," Cecil agreed.

Jayna nodded. "But it's good. Things have been a lot easier with Luis around, I have to say. He's excellent on the register, quickly getting the knack of the espresso machine, and even helps Aadesh with his homework in the evenings. The customers really seem to like him." She gave Cecil a sly grin.

Uncomfortable, Cecil shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "Is he gone for the day?"

"His shift ended at two o'clock," said Jayna. She jabbed her thumb toward the staff door. "But he's staying in the apartment upstairs if you want to talk to him."

"I… uh, wouldn't want to bother him during his time off," Cecil stammered.

Jayna put her hand on her hip in the no-nonsense pose of every mother. "Cecil, get your behind up there right now."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The door at the top of the stairs was ajar, presumably in case Jayna needed anything. Through the crack, Cecil could see Luis clearly. He was sprawled unselfconsciously across a small sofa reading a book entitled _The Chemistry of Organic Compounds_ , while light from the window lovingly caressed the highlights in his tantalizing hair. 

Cecil rapped lightly at the open door and Luis looked up. He smiled. "I missed my favorite customer this morning. I was afraid I'd scared you off."

"You did," Cecil admitted, stepping inside the plain room.

Luis stood up, laying his book across the arm of the couch. "Then did you come here to tell me to stop? Or to hear about some of my other fantasies?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, Cecil whispered, "The second one."

The barista must have moved, because when he spoke again, his voice was much closer. His breath ghosted across Cecil's cheek. "Well, in my best fantasy, you come up to my apartment after work, uncertain but yearning. I invite you in and close the door behind you." 

There was a click as the door shut irrevocably.

"I offer you a drink," continued Luis, "but you refuse. That's not what you're here for. I quickly try to decide what to do. The couch is close, but there's not much room for us to move. I could drop to my knees and take you right this second…" Cecil inhaled sharply. "But I want it to last. So I take your hand and lead you to the bedroom."

Feeling something touch him, Cecil opened his eyes and looked down to see their hands intertwined. Luis was indeed gently pulling him toward an open door on the other side of the living room.

"You're so nervous," Luis murmured as they crossed the threshold, "but that also excites you. You don't know what to expect. I wrap my hand around the back of your neck and pull you in for a kiss."

His narration having paused for a moment, all Cecil could hear was the soft sounds of their lips meeting desperately. Luis was warm beneath his hands and smelled like coffee.

"I tear myself away from the kiss for a second," said Luis breathlessly, "and take the opportunity to loosen your tie. I'm so turned on that my fingers are clumsy against your chest. My hands trail down your sternum and across your floating ribs to rest on your kidneys and I pull you nearer to me. This close, I feel you shaking with desire. You want to pull my shirt off, so you do."

Cecil did as he was told, pulling off Luis' t-shirt and throwing it to the floor. He wanted to taste the revealed expanse of smooth, dark skin, marred only by the occasional scar, but he was distracted by the barista's next words.

"I manage to unfasten your pants in the meantime and finally get my hand on your beautiful cock. You're so hard for me already and I can't wait to taste you. I take my hand away for a moment to push you down onto my bed and admire how you look against my sheets. But I can't avoid temptation for long."

With that, Luis stopped speaking because his mouth was otherwise occupied around Cecil's dick. Alternating long licks with little lapping motions and delicate sucking, Cecil was soon a shuddering, whining mess. Abruptly, Luis pulled away.

"'Not yet,' I tell you, because I've remembered that there's half a tube of lubricant left in my night stand and I want to use the rest to fuck you. Even after six nights of lying in this bed with my hand on myself, pretending it was yours, I'm still not satisfied. I need more."

While Luis spoke, Cecil tore off his clothes, missing a sock in his hastiness. Luis stood to shuck his pants and retrieve the lube. He returned to the bed to press his body against Cecil's, skin-to-skin, and they kissed. Luis' hand stole down Cecil's body and came to rest on his ass. Pulling the radio host on top of himself, Luis' hand dipped further still and he used his middle finger to circle Cecil's hole.

Panting, Luis managed to begin speaking again. "I find the lubricant tangled in the sheets and wrench the bottle open so that I can get you nice and slick and open for me." Cecil moaned. "I stretch you out carefully since I don't want to hurt you, but it's so hard to wait because you're the most beautiful man I've ever known."

When Cecil was ready, Luis rolled them over again to be on top. He kissed him deeply and began to gently press the head of his cock to Cecil's entrance. "I… I start to push into you and I can feel you slowly open up to welcome me inside your body. I become part of you and at this moment we exist only within ourselves. I pull back a little in order to drive in again and you take me in ever deeper. Your feet are braced against the mattress, giving me the leverage that I need to take you harder."

"Oh, gods," cried Cecil, unable to stay silent any longer as he thrust up to match Luis' strokes. "Oh! Oh, my beloved Carlos!"

Luis stilled almost immediately. Cecil slapped his hand to his mouth, his eyes wide and humiliated. "I don't… Oh, Luis, I'm so sorry! I don't know why I said that. I don't even know anyone called Carlos!"

But there was something hungry in Luis' eyes. "No," he said. "I like it. I want you to call me Carlos."

Cecil tried to object, but Luis interrupted him. "I start fucking you again, harder, deeper, filling you entirely. You can't think about anything else but the feel of me inside you. With one hand, I encircle your cock and the sensation of fucking and being fucked overwhelms you. But I won't let you come until you call me Carlos. You resist for a while because you're embarrassed, but I keep you on the edge. You're so close. You need to come. You need me to come, to leave part of me inside of you. I'm already part of you and you. know. it. Right now, Cecil. Right now, you say my name."

"Carlos!" he sobbed, and tipped into the Void.

\---

_As it turns out, it is not actually illegal to practice mind control on an unsuspecting community radio show host, causing him to forget the love of his life and forcing him to marry his employer instead, who can then prevent him from speaking to anyone in town and learning the truth. Should you or a loved one find yourselves in a similar situation, be aware that the only way to be granted an annulment from the City Council is if the marriage remains unconsummated, which can, of course, be confirmed by the Sheriff's Secret Police. Then you must be seduced by your local barista who is, in reality, your original partner under an assumed name, since you have been manipulated into forgetting the real one._

_In other news, StrexCorp executive and Station Program Director, Lauren Mallard, is no longer living... in Night Vale. We at Night Vale Community Radio wish her good luck in all of her future endeavors. **She'll need it.**_

_Meanwhile, the clever, wonderful, ineffably perfect Carlos the Scientist is back at home with me, where he belongs. He may, at this very moment, be doing science in the service of our dear community. Or he may be wearing his dinosaur pajamas, calling Big Rico's for delivery, and queuing up movies on our Netflix account. I know which one I'd prefer tonight._

_And so with that, Listeners, I leave you with the vague sense that you too have forgotten something vitally important to your continued well-being and knowing that it's entirely possible that you may never get it back._

_Stay tuned for the hiss and crackle of my microphone left inexplicably on and subtle crunching noises that suggest that the recording booth is not entirely empty…_

_Good night, Night Vale. Good night._

**Author's Note:**

> I had meant for this to be an actual WtNV coffee shop AU with barista!Carlos able to make amazing coffee drinks due to his chemistry background and Cecil being the more assertive party, like he is in canon. This did not turn out to be that fic, but someone should still write it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Chemistry of Organic Compounds (podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7075798) by [musegaarid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/musegaarid/pseuds/musegaarid), [ScrivenerSavannah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrivenerSavannah/pseuds/ScrivenerSavannah)




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